Thursday, March 8, 2012

Home is where the heart is

     There is a blaring silence reverberating off the wall of our house tonight, this first night of my temporary bachelorhood.  Yes, Karlye and her mother (God love them) through some mix of bravery and insanity took off in our minivan with 5 kids and 3 bikes on a road trip to Texas today.  I at last have the house to myself for a week, no noise, no chaos, no dirty diapers or bedtime battles.  I have been looking forward to this week with great expectation.

     Now that it has come, as glad as I am to have some time to myself, I am finding already that part of me is missing.  My best friend and five greatest treasures are gone and I think they must have packed part of my soul somewhere in the back of that minivan, because for the life of me I can't seem to find it here no matter how hard I look.  Without them, this home has reverted back to a house.  This silence comes at a price.  Things just aren't the same without the nightly routine.  I don't know how Josiah will be able to sleep without me to tuck him in. I won't have Grace stalling getting to sleep with her nightly request for "Two kisses, two hugs, prayer time and tuck me in".  As much as I enjoy the "me" time I am realizing how important the "us" time has become to me.

     I am not completely myself without my wife and children.  I will certainly enjoy my time alone.  I thrive on the respite from the normal cacophony that fills this place.  I will sleep soundly without fear of waking up at 3:30 to Bill O'Reilly when Karlye is having trouble sleeping.  No small person will disturb my slumber by climbing on top of me in the middle of the night.  I just wonder though if a full night of sleep alone is half as good as an interrupted night of sleep shared with the person you love most in the world.

     I know that somewhere in a hotel room in northern Texas tonight, bedlam reigns supreme.  There is arguing and fighting and kids with a days worth of pent up energy are driving their mother and grandmother to the limit of their patience.  I am very happy not to be a part of it, but I wouldn't mind a little glimpse of it, just to know that even though separated from me by 300 miles, that piece of my heart is still beating.

    Sweet dreams my precious ones.  I love you.