Monday, May 11, 2015

Mother's Day Fail

I had a Mother's Day Fail. I thought I had everything lined up to celebrate yesterday for Karlye. I had the cards bought, I made her a special breakfast treat, I even remembered to buy the special neclace she had hinted at. I just forgot  one thing...

I knew it had been a long time since I last wrote on this blog. I also suddenly realized I let Mother's Day slip by without my annual gift post to Karlye. So I checked and indeed it has been a year and a day since my last post.

My wife is truly an amazing woman. She deserves an award for putting up with pre-adolescent  males, in particular a certain 12 year old, who in the last year has become all knowing and takes every opportunity to give us a detailed exposition on our failures in the role of parenting.
Somehow he has managed to survive, due in large part to a mother who loves him in spite of his smart mouth and aversion to personal hygiene.

Being a mother is never easy work. Being the mother of adolescents is one of those tasks that makes you question everything you ever thought true. It wears you down to the point you think you can't handle another minute and then pushes you even farther. It shakes you to the core and threatens to break you.

My wonderful wife has not broken. She's been beat down, exhausted and discouraged, but she keeps on. By the end of the day, she has reached her limit. She is mentally and physically exhausted but the job never is done. Still, somehow she manages to get up and do it all again the next day. Amazingly, even in the worst of it all, she still manages to show love and care for the monsters and their father.

I wish I could say I'm always there to back her up, to lend her moral support, to build up her self-esteem after a day of having it beaten down by a household of insensitive ingrates. I try sometimes, but usually I just block out her her unspoken plea for help along with all the other noise.
For that, I am truly sorry. I am finding that I really don't have many good answers for this whole parenting thing. We try our best, but most of the time it feels we are banging out heads against a brick wall. I have been told that this is not a unique experience. All parents deal with this to some extent or another, and yes in time it too will pass. Here and now though, it's just tough sometimes.

This Mother's Day, what I needed to tell my wife is that she is not alone. I am here with her. I am on her team. We will get through this together. I don't have to know all the answers, I just need to remember that even though she is tough and capable, it still hurts her when the kids and I don't treat her with the respect she deserves.

So Karlye, love of my life, I'm sorry if I am not more understanding. I want to do a better job of listening to you. You can vent to me. You can vent about me. I want you to know that I'm here with you to help you carry out this amazing and challenging responsibility of raising the five wonderful children God has blessed us with. Thank you for all you do every day.